Cultivating Resilience in Challenging Times

FOLX's LGBTQIA+ guide for finding resilience in challenging times.

May 3, 2024
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BREATHING AND BEING

There is a magical power we all have with us in every moment of our lives and it is our BREATH. It can be super hard to take a deep breath when we’re feeling stressed, but we want to offer some evidence-based breathing techniques that you can try when you need some extra support.

Diaphragmatic “Belly” Breathing

How to do it:

  • Lay down and rest your hands on your belly.
  • Focus on breathing into your hands, so your belly rises and falls.
  • Breathe slowly and deeply.
  • Repeat for as long as you want!

Physiological Sighing

A recent Stanford study showed that just 5 minutes of cyclic sighing reduces anxiety, more than other breath techniques. How to do it:

  • Take one deep inhale through your nose.
  • Take a second sharp inhale through your nose.
  • Exhale slowly through your mouth.
  • Repeat!

For more mindfulness practices and resources, check out the FOLX Transgender Meditation Guide in the Library.

SOMATIC PRACTICES TO SOOTHE YOUR SYSTEM

For some of us when we’re feeling stressed, about life or the state of the world, the last thing we want to do is try to be still! Mindful movement and somatic (fancy word for body) practices of all sorts can be a powerful tool to rattle us out of a stressful state, and they are good for our bodies even when they don’t end the anxiety completely.

Ways to explore mindful movement:

  • Blast your favorite music and shake it out. You can do this however works for your body - in a chair, dancing around the living room, or even from your bed.
  • Try a self-defense class or some power lifting. Many LGBTQIA+ people find soothing in strength building practices. See if you can find a queer-focused space. If you can’t, there are online classes, too!
  • Put on that Pride diva playlist and get out of the house. This might be a run or a scoot or even a drive with the windows down where you can feel the wind in your hair.
  • Receive or exchange loving touch with a trusted person, or give it to yourself. Getting a massage, getting squeezed in a tight hug, or snuggling on the couch can feel great. Tennis balls or foam rollers are great tools for self massage to loosen both body and mind.
  • Yoga, tai chi, ecstatic dance, and martial arts are all other great options to check out. Play around until you find your thing. Group classes are a great way to find new buddies too.
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GETTING A THERAPIST

Even though there is so much we can do on our own, and with our communities, sometimes the support of a professional can really help during challenging times. An affirming mental health professional can help us build skills to navigate these times, and everything else life inevitably throws at us. Finding and affording the right therapist is not always easy, so check out these resources from our Library that can help! You deserve a therapist with expertise in working with our community, who gets all that is going on for you and in the broader political landscape.

FOLX Library articles to read more:

How to Find an LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist

How to Find a Trans-Competent Therapist

What is Queer and Trans Evidence-Based Mental Health Care?

PRESERVING ACCESS TO HEALTHCARE

It is the unfortunate reality that many laws right now are targeting trans people’s access to healthcare, especially for trans youth. Although we don’t provide care for trans people under 18 at this time, we do offer support to parents, and parents are always welcome to set up a visit with our clinicians to discuss how to manage this landscape. We have clinicians with pediatric expertise on staff. For trans adults, there is not yet a ban on gender-affirming care in any state, but there are states that are increasing the barriers. We at FOLX are working hard to continue to provide care for members in all our states, and we will continue to do everything we can. Here are ways you can stay in the know about changing laws and ways you can support your continued access to care.

  • Follow author Erin Reed at erininthemorning.com for in-depth and helpful updates about laws that impact trans people.
  • Try not to let your meds run down. Aim to get your prescriptions refilled a few weeks before you’ll be out, so you can deal with any potential challenges without as much stress.
  • If you’re on hormone therapy, do know that it’s usually not a physical risk to miss some doses. You might feel out of sorts or anxious, understandably, but know your overall transition is not going to be derailed by missing some meds.
  • Consider a national telehealth provider. In addition to FOLX, or places like Plume and Planned Parenthood, many insurance companies have telehealth options. Telehealth can make it easier to have clinician visits when you need them and can make it easier to transfer care to another location if you move.
  • If there comes a time when you feel you need to move, for your access to care, your mental health, or other reasons, know there are resources. The HRC is maintaining this helpful list of funds for relocating families

BUILDING COMMUNITY

When we’re feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, or depressed, it can be tempting to withdraw from our friends and community. And sometimes we do need to recharge! But many times we need each other. We need spaces where we can show up in all our feels and remind each other of the fabulousness that is still inside. It can be so healing to be in spaces where we get to see each other and remind ourselves that queer and trans people are everywhere, and we will keep building and loving each other, no matter what.

If you’re feeling lonely or aren’t sure where to start, here are some ways you can build community:

  • Seek out LGBTQ+ activities - whether it’s a local bookstore hosting a lesbian author or a band that just happens to be a gay fave, take yourself out! Even if you don’t make a new friend on the first go, it can be nourishing to just be around other LGBTQ+ people.
  • Get on a dating or queer community app. More and more people are using dating apps to connect with friends too. Check out Lex, Grindr, Her, Feeld, or OkCupid to see who all in your area might want to connect. Be bold and put it in your profile that you’re seeking new adventure buddies, or invite someone out on your next hike/sporting event/art show outing.
  • Spend some time on queerTok, on some lgbtq Twitch streams, or on the trans subreddits. For some of us, the internet is the only place we can be ourselves, or a place we feel most comfortable. Those can be deep and meaningful connections too!
  • Attend a FOLX support group! We’ve got the kindest community members and our peer facilitators are here for you.

TAKING ACTION

Feeling powerless and at the mercy of all these giant systems against us is rough. Sometimes we just want to turn off the news notifications, log off social media, and cozy up to some queer Ultimatum. Other times, taking action can be an antidote to those feelings and a way to stay meaningfully engaged. As we move deeper into this next election cycle there will be even more ways to get involved. Being of service can make a difference, and it give you something to do while you’re feeling the feels.

Get involved in local schools:

Attend your local school board meetings and vote in those school board elections. Our youth need us! You can also support your friendly neighborhood librarian by purchasing more inclusive books for their libraries and you can let your schools know how important an inclusive curriculum and diverse teachers and staff are to you.

Get ready to vote:

Make sure you are registered where you live and that you have the documents you need. The National Center for Transgender Equality has a great resource for voting while trans if you need support. The Human Rights Campaign has a comprehensive list of laws you should know about by state.

Contact your elected officials:

You can write emails. request meetings, or join coalitions of people to raise a voice with your local elected officials. You can find contact info for your elected officials at USA.gov.

NATURE AS HEALING

Are you a plant daddy or maybe just lusting after one? Appreciating nature is so good for our mental health. Even if you can’t keep a houseplant alive (been there!), you can get out and enjoy somebody else’s nice front yard or go poke around a desert or forest somewhere to get some nature time. If you live in a rural place, even the walk to your mailbox might be a chance to feel the literal grounding of this earth.

Five ways to reap nature's benefits (even if you’re in a city):

  • Get into some sunlight. Sunlight is known to help boost serotonin, increasing feelings of well-being, and regulate your circadian rhythm, which promotes restful sleep.
  • Spend time in a park or green space. Time in the forest, or other “green spaces,” improves cognitive and emotional health.
  • Look up nature videos on your phone. Simply viewing a forest scene can help stress recovery, especially for folks residing in urban settings.
  • Buy a plant or start a garden. One study showed that psychiatric patients had improved mood and more positive interactions after gardening. It helped quell unpleasant thoughts and offered a positive distraction.
  • Listen to nature sounds, especially if you want to boost your attention. Attention restoration theory (ART) suggests that being in nature can help our brain focus better by giving our attention system a break.

To learn more read How Nature Nurtures LGBTQ Health.

PRACTICING GRATITUDE

When life or the world feels brutal, practicing gratitude is a superpower for building resilience—and it's backed by solid scientific evidence! Instead of getting swept away by negative thoughts, we can tap into the transformative magic of gratitude. From a tiny moment of gender euphoria to the yummy fragrance steaming off a cup of tea, gratitude helps us uncover the shimmers that are always around us. Research shows that gratitude boosts happiness, reduces stress and enhances our overall resilience. We know it might feel backwards to practice gratitude when stuff is crumbling, but give these a go and see how you feel!

Here are five ways to incorporate gratitude into your life:

  1. Gratitude Journaling: Set aside a few minutes each day to jot down three things you're grateful for. They can be as simple as a cool beverage on a hot day, a kind gesture from a sweetie, or a new leaf on your plant. Writing them down helps you savor the positive moments and creates a gratitude bank to uplift your spirits during challenging times.
  2. Gratitude Wander: Take a wander in nature or gaze around your current location, keeping an eye out for things that bring you joy. It could be the vibrant color of a wall, the cheerful sound of kids playing, or the sensation of breeze or soft fabric against your skin. Express your appreciation for these little wonders, amplifying your sense of gratitude and connection to the world around you.
  3. Gratitude Pal: Find a gratitude pal and exchange daily or weekly gratitude lists. Share what you're thankful for and encourage each other. It's like having a gratitude cheerleader, adding a social and supportive element to your gratitude practice.Random
  4. Acts of Gratitude: Surprise people with small acts gratitude. It could be leaving a heartfelt note, giving a genuine compliment, or sending a thank-you message. Spreading gratitude not only brightens someone else's day but also boosts your own positivity and resilience.
  5. Gratitude Reflection: Before going to bed, take a moment to reflect on the day and identify one thing you're grateful for. It could be an achievement, a lesson learned, or a moment of joy. Allow yourself to bask in that gratitude before sleep, setting the stage for a restful and optimistic mindset for the next day.

Cultivating Resilience in Challenging Times Guide -  healthcare that is queer all year

The FOLX Guide for Living in an LGBTQIA+ State of Emergency (PDF)

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FOLX Health is the first digital healthcare company designed by and for the LGBTQIA+ community. Our services include virtual primary care, gender-affirming hormone therapy including estrogen and testosterone (HRT), mental health care, sexual and reproductive health care, preventive care, and fertility consultations. FOLX memberships give you access to LGBTQIA+ expert clinicians, peer support, thousands of LGBTQIA+ resources, and more. Whether you’re lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, gender non-conforming, or nonbinary, you can find LGBTQIA+-specialized health care that helps you meet your wellness goals. FOLX Health is health care that's queer all year. Get all the benefits of becoming a FOLX member and sign up today!